This Blog post is a long one, but there are some really great pearls of wisdom here. Take the time and read through it. You may be surprised at what you learn.

Parenthood is a journey filled with love, joy, and adventure, but it also comes with its fair share of challenges. The quest to be a good parent while balancing a busy life can be overwhelming. But fear not! In this blog post, I want to present a few parenting hacks that not only save you time but also strengthen your relationships and boost your self-confidence.

My First Parenting Hack is about time. Often we think that unless we spend a great deal of time with those we love that it doesn’t “count”. But here is the Truth!!

1. Quality Over Quantity: Building Strong Relationships

**Myth**: More time equals better parenting.

**Reality**: It's the quality, not the quantity, of time spent with your child that matters most.

Action Tip: Dedicate focused, undistracted time to your child. Put away screens (TV, Cell phone, Tablets, Lap tops, computers etc.) and engage in activities you both enjoy, fostering deeper connections. When we are present with our children, our partners, our families, we discover a stronger sense of connectedness. Being present doesn’t mean being in the same room. It means that our thoughts, our attention and our actions are focused on the other people around us in the same room.

Play some age appropriate games; i.e. table games like chutes and ladders, cranium, monopoly etc. Or go outside and play games; hide and seek, kicking a ball around, blowing bubbles etc. You could even put together some puzzles, of course make them age appropriate for the youngest in the group.

My next Parenting Hack is about routines. Most of us don’t like the idea of routines. They feel confining or feel like you can’t be “spontaneous”. But here is the Truth!!

2. The Power of Routine: Time-Saving and Confidence-Boosting

**Myth**: Routines are rigid and boring.

**Reality**: Routines provide structure, save time, and boost your confidence as a parent.

Action Tip: Establish daily routines for meals, bedtime, and chores. Predictability reduces stress and allows for smoother transitions. When children, partners and family members have routines it becomes something that they can count on. Even if there is complaining or push back, the consistency of the routine and being able to count on it helps promote a sense of security and safety within the home, the family and the relationships. Routines as simple yet as deeply connecting is having family dinner. Take the opportunity to sit down together at the end of the day. Connect with each other by sharing a common meal and sharing what each person did during the day. Believe it or not, this simple yet deeply connecting routine offers children, family members and partners a sense of belonging. It offers them a sense of purpose and reminds them that there are people in their lives, right in front of them that love them, appreciate being around them and enjoy their company. Research shows that when children have a sense of belonging within their own family it reduces the risk of them seeking out a sense of belonging in the wrong places such as gang involvement or involvement in risky behavior or drug use.

The next Parenting hack is about sharing responsibilities. These responsibilities include everything from household chores to care of the children in the home. Often one person feels obligated to take on “everything” which then begins to build resentment and grows into a sense of disconnect. Well the Truth is!!!

3. Delegate and Share: Strengthening Relationships

**Myth**: Asking for help is a sign of weakness.

**Reality**: Sharing responsibilities with your partner or a support network strengthens relationships and increases self-confidence.

Action Tip: Communicate openly with your partner or support system about your needs and delegate tasks to create a more balanced family life. When you speak up and ask for help, not only will you get the help you need but you also are inviting others into your life in a way that is mutually supportive. This in turn will strengthen your relationships and help you to feel like your needs are being met. It takes a lot of vulnerability to admit to yourself and to others that you need the help. Even if it is as simple as helping with the grocery shopping or taking turns to bathe the baby. This openness allows others to feel like they are needed, it allows you to feel supported. All of which helps you not feel like you have to do it all, it will help you feel like you are part of a team with similar goals, desires and hope for your family and your relationship. Being vulnerable is very difficult yet once you allow yourself to open up, ask for what you need, your vulnerability provides a deeper sense of connection, love and understanding between you and those you love.

The next Parenting hack is about learning how to say NO. This is much easier said than really done. This is very easy to talk about but often when the rubber hits the road, people find themselves saying “yes”. Well the Truth is!!

4. The Art of Saying "No": Saving Time and Strengthening Boundaries

**Myth**: Saying "yes" to everything makes you a better parent.

**Reality**: Setting boundaries and saying "no" when necessary is essential for saving time and maintaining your well-being.

Action Tip: Prioritize your commitments, and don't be afraid to decline activities or requests that don't align with your family's values or your own well-being. This action tip is easy to do in theory. So many of us are accustomed to accommodating or even completely rescheduling our lives in order to be available or do what others ask of us. When we do this we find ourselves not caring for our own needs. Our capacity to “do it all” is in truth limited. When we are done doing for others and not doing for ourselves we are exhausted and resentful. Now don’t get me wrong, doing for others is compassion and love. Doing for others helps us be a better person. However, when we do so much that we forget ourselves and our own needs, then it is too much. This also includes saying NO to things that may compromise our values or compromise how our family members are cared for. In the effort we make to be accommodating we sometimes forget or even put aside our own values or standards. When we do this, we are essentially not honoring ourselves. We are letting ourselves down. Now, would you do that to your best friend? Well then, you are your own best friend, so why would you do that to you.

The next Parenting Hack is about self care. This one is very close to my heart and one that I talk about all the time. In our busy day to day world, the idea of taking care of ourselves is pushed aside in the pursuit of being a “good parent” or a “good mom or a dad”. In reality our misperception of what constitutes being a “good person” as putting yourself aside promotes an overall sense of frustration. In turn festering within us and turning into resentment, anger and even a disconnect from all the people we love. Well the Truth is!!

5. Self-Care: Boosting Confidence and Building Relationships

**Myth**: Self-care is selfish.

**Reality**: Self-care boosts your self-confidence and enhances your ability to be a loving and patient parent.

Action Tip: Prioritize self-care activities that rejuvenate you, whether it's reading, exercising, or simply enjoying a quiet moment alone. Have you ever felt like you sense of self is gone? You have wondered who you are now? Or wonder about the person you used to be or the activities you used to like to do are forever in your past? You sometimes feel like your own personal self has been smothered in the effort of being a “good parent”. I am here to tell you that when you stop taking in the lies that our society tells us, you will find yourself again and you will also be amazed at how much more of a parent you can be. When we believe the mantra that society says, in order to be a good parent, you have to sacrifice who you are and all that you enjoy. This is so far from the truth. When we do this, over time we begin to feel empty, we feel like all we are meant for is to be at the whim of others. This in turn can build resent, frustration and anger. Often, we don’t even realize why we get so short tempered, or seem to argue more with our partners, we have little patience for our children. Sometimes we want to “run away” or begin to have such deep depression we wonder what is wrong with us. Well, let me tell you my friend, it is because you forgot about you. Begin to take time every day for you. Even if it is just 5 minutes doing something that you want, that interests you, or starting something you have wanted to do. When you begin to be your own best friend, be your own advocate, your sense of fulfillment and purpose begins to grow. When you feel happy, content and love yourself, that sense of fulfillment bubbles over to all those around you. Have you heard the saying that…. When your pitcher is empty you can’t fill the cups of others until you have filled up your own pitcher.

My final Parenting Hack that I wanted to briefly mention here is about figuring things out on your own. Well, have you ever heard the idea to emulate something or someone rather than re-invent your own. Once you get the hang of what it is you are trying to do, re-inventing your own way, style or approach becomes much easier when you have a basis to go from. Here is the Truth!!

6. Parenting Tools and Resources: Time-Saving and Confidence-Boosting

**Myth**: You should figure it out on your own.

**Reality**: Utilizing parenting tools, books, and support networks can save you time and boost your confidence as a parent.

Action Tip: Explore parenting books, apps, and online communities to gain insights, share experiences, and connect with others facing similar challenges. Children don’t come with manuals; neither are we given a handbook on relationships or marriage. However, there is a lot of helpful information out there to start with. Yes, you will get advice on everything from how to be in a relationship, marriage or even how to have children. Advice or shall I say pressure on how to be a parent. The advice is great, but sometimes it is not so great. Search out information and when you find something that seems to resonate with you, your partner and your style then just go with it. Sometimes you may find that taking bits and pieces of information from a wide variety of resources, putting it all together, helps you to create your own way of doing things. At times it is hard to trust in the process or even in yourself. But once you start believing in your innate abilities to learn, to create and to be the person, parent and partner you want to be, you will be amazed at how much your confidence will grow. Take a chance and begin today. Start gathering information on how others do things, use it as a starting point and then jump into your own style from there. You have a special connection to your children and to your partner. Do what feels good to you as yourself and as the parent that you want to be.

Parenting is a remarkable journey filled with opportunities for growth, love, and connection. By debunking myths and embracing these parenting hacks, you can save time, build stronger relationships with your children, and boost your self-confidence as a parent.

Remember that there's no one-size-fits-all approach to parenting. Each family is unique, and the most important thing is the love and care you provide for your children. So, seize these actionable tips, adapt them to your family's needs, and embark on a parenting journey filled with confidence, meaningful relationships, and cherished moments that will last a lifetime. You've got this!

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